Planning a non-religious funeral or celebration of life in Hamilton

Many families want a service that honours the person without religion, or with only a touch of it. That is entirely possible, and no law in Ontario requires a member of the clergy, a religious rite or any particular words. Here is how a non-religious funeral or celebration of life works in Hamilton.

Funeral, memorial or celebration of life

The words overlap, and none of them is religious in itself:

• a funeral usually takes place soon after the death, often with the body present;
• a memorial is held without the body, sometimes with the ashes;
• a celebration of life puts the person's life and character at the centre, and is often held a few weeks later, when everyone can come.

A non-religious service can take any of these shapes.

Who can lead it

• A celebrant. I am a Humanist celebrant: I meet the family, write a tribute about the person, help the speakers, and hold the room on the day.
• A celebrant booked through the funeral home. Many funeral homes offer one.
• A family member or friend. No licence is needed to lead a service in Ontario, and many families ask a relative to host. A celebrant helps when nobody feels able to stand up and hold everyone together.

What a celebrant typically charges is in my guide to funeral officiant costs in Ontario.

Where it can happen

A funeral home chapel, a community hall, a golf club or restaurant room, a garden, a family home. When the body or the ashes are present, the service is usually held at or arranged through a licensed funeral home, and I work alongside the funeral director. A celebration of life held later, without the body, can be anywhere you can gather.

If you plan to scatter ashes, Ontario allows it on private land with the owner's consent and on unoccupied Crown land, including lakes like Lake Ontario, unless signs prohibit it; on municipal land, check the local by-laws.

What goes into a non-religious service

A service of forty-five minutes to an hour usually holds:

1. A welcome, saying simply why everyone is here.
2. The tribute: the person's life, work, humour, the people they loved.
3. Memories from two to four speakers.
4. A reading or two, poems or prose that suit the person; my guide to readings for a celebration of life lists public-domain choices.
5. Music: something they loved as people arrive, during a quiet moment, and at the end.
6. A moment of reflection in silence, where a religious service would have a prayer.
7. Closing words, and an invitation to stay and talk.

If some of the family are religious, a prayer, a hymn or a passage of scripture can still have its place, read by someone for whom it means something. Non-religious does not have to mean leaving anyone out.

When to hold it

There is no legal deadline for a celebration of life. Many families choose a direct cremation, then gather a few weeks later. If you want to meet soon, my gentle checklist walks through what needs to happen in the first days.

Working with me

A celebration of life with me is $300: a planning meeting with the family, a tribute and readings written for the person, a rehearsal with the family and speakers, and officiating on the day. Travel is free within 25 km of Hamilton, then $0.70 per km past the first 25 km, one way. I move quickly, usually within days. For a service this week, call or text 289-994-2665 rather than wait for an email, or read how a celebration of life works with me.