Celebrant, minister or funeral home celebrant: who should lead the service?

When someone dies, one of the questions the funeral home asks is who will lead the service. There are four usual answers, and none of them is required by law. Here is how they differ and how families tend to decide.

The four options

A member of the clergy. The natural choice if the person had a faith or a congregation. A minister, priest, imam or rabbi brings the rites of the tradition and often knew the person. Clergy are usually thanked with an honorarium: a Hamilton Anglican parish names $300 for the presiding clergy, and Ontario funeral home price lists show honorariums from about $200 to $450.

The funeral home's celebrant. Many funeral homes have a celebrant they work with, booked as part of the arrangements. It is simple: one call, one bill. One Hamilton funeral home lists its celebrant at $395.

An independent celebrant. Someone you choose yourself, who meets the family, writes a tribute and leads the service wherever it is held. Independent celebrants in Ontario publish fees from about $300 to $800; the higher fees usually include several meetings and a full eulogy. I am an independent Humanist celebrant, and a celebration of life with me is $300.

A family member or friend. No licence is needed to lead a service in Ontario. A relative who knew the person well can be the best host there is, as long as they feel able to hold the room on a hard day.

The full breakdown of fees, and who pays them, is in my guide to what a funeral officiant costs in Ontario.

How families decide

• Did the person have a faith? If yes, and the family wants its rites, clergy are usually the answer. If the family is mixed, a celebrant can lead a non-religious service with room for a prayer or a hymn.
• Who will know the person by the end? A celebrant who meets the family and writes the tribute can come to know the person well in a few days. Ask how much time each option spends with the family before the service.
• Where will it be held? Clergy often lead in their place of worship; a funeral home's celebrant usually leads at the funeral home. An independent celebrant goes where you gather: a hall, a garden, a home. When the body or the ashes are present, the service is usually held at or arranged through a licensed funeral home.
• How soon? If the service is this week, ask each option about availability first. A celebration of life held later, after a direct cremation, has no legal deadline.
• Who speaks? If several family members want to speak, ask who will help them prepare and who will step in if someone cannot finish.

You can combine them

A minister can lead the prayers while a celebrant gives the tribute. A family member can host while a celebrant writes the words. A funeral home can handle everything practical while you choose your own celebrant: you are free to bring one in, so ask the funeral home how it works with outside celebrants.

If you choose a celebrant

Ask what is included (a meeting, a written tribute, a rehearsal with the speakers), whether you will see the words before the day, and whether travel is extra. With me, the $300 covers a planning meeting with the family, a tribute and readings written for the person, a rehearsal with the family and speakers, and officiating on the day; travel is free within 25 km of Hamilton. My guide to a non-religious funeral or celebration of life shows what such a service can include.

For a service this week, call or text 289-994-2665 rather than wait for an email, or read how a celebration of life works with me.